The Miserable Mill by Lemony Snicket (Audiobook Review)

Audiobook Reviews from Audiobook-Heaven

Title: The Miserable Mill
Series: A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book the Fourth
Author: Lemony Snicket
Narrator: Lemony Snicket
Publisher: Recorded Books
Duration: 2 hours, 51 minutes
Copyright: 2003
Genres: adventure, fantasy, juvenile
Filed in: Audiobook reviews
Review copy provided by Kearney Public Library.

PUBLISHER’S SUMMARY:
Dear Listener,
I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to listen to this recording because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put down this audiobook instantaneously, because of all the audiobooks describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet.
This recording, I'm sorry to inform you, contains such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons.
I have promised to record the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heart-warming, please feel free to make another selection.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
©2000 Lemony Snicket; (P)2001, 2003 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

DEDICATION: For Beatrice: My love flew like a butterfly, ‘til death swooped down like a bat. As the poet Emma Montana McElroy said, “That’s the end of that.”

MY THOUGHTS: Those poor Baudelaire orphans. They fell right out of the unlucky tree, and hit every branch on the way down. And at the bottom of the tree was a pool of unlucky quicksand. And around the quicksand were unlucky vines, the kind that break off as soon as you tug on them.
Now that Uncle Monty and Aunt Josephine are dead, the orphans have apparently run out of relatives to live with, so Mister Poe places them in the care of the owner of the Lucky Smells Lumber Mill. It seems, however, that Mister Sis-, Mister wol-, well, whatever his name is, only wanted three more people to slave away in his lumber mill. He did, at least, promise to keep the children safe from that crazy, cross-dressing, Count Olaf, but he was not entirely successful at that, as you shall see when you listen to this audiobook.

LEMONY SNIPPET: I’m sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much, and it is what is on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true, then people who were good on the inside would never have to comb their hair, or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does.

NARRATOR: As I mentioned before, Lemony Snicket himself took over the narrating duties for the third, fourth, and fifth audiobooks of the series. He really didn’t do a bad job, he even tries to use different voices for the characters, an unusual practice for an author/narrator. Still, I would rather he stuck with Tim Curry, who narrated the first two audiobooks, and returns with audiobook six.

SPECIAL FEATURES: At the very end of “The Miserable Mill”, Lemony Snicket gives us a sneak-peek of the next audiobook in the series, in the form of a letter to his editor. It reads as follows:
To my kind editor,
Please excuse the torn edges of this note. I am writing to you from inside the shack the Baudelaire orphans were forced to live in while at Prufrock Preparatory School, and I am afraid that some of the crabs tried to snatch my stationery away from me.
On Sunday night, please purchase a ticket for seat 10-J at the Erratic Opera Company’s performance of the opera Faute de Mieux. During Act Five, use a sharp knife to rip open the cushion of your seat. There you should find my description of the children’s miserable half-semester at boarding school, entitled THE AUSTERE ACADEMY, as well as a cafeteria tray, some of the Baudelaires’ homemade staples, and the (worthless) jewel from Coach Genghis’s turban. There is also the negative for a photograph of the two Quagmire Triplets, which Mr. Helquist can have developed to help with his illustrations. Remember, you are my last hope that the tales of the Baudelaire orphans can finally be told to the general public.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

FINAL WORD: “The Miserable Mill” is the fourth audiobook in Lemony Snicket’s “A Series of Unfortunate Events” series, and another sad chapter in the lives of the unlucky Baudelaire orphans. I can’t wait to see what happens next!

CHECK OUT THESE OTHER AUDIOBOOK REVIEWS:
The Wide Window by Lemony Snicket (Audiobook Review)
The Miserable Mill by Lemony Snicket (Audiobook Review)
The Austere Academy by Lemony Snicket (Audiobook Review)

----------o----------

If you liked this audiobook review, you can purchase the audiobook here:
Get "The Miserable Mill", A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 4 by Lemony Snicket (Unabridged Audiobook) from Amazon.com.

This audiobook review is based on the unabridged audiobook.
Audiobook review by Steven Brandt
Come back soon for more audiobook reviews from AudioBook Heaven.